Thursday, February 21, 2013

Withdrawal

". . . nothing made him happier, nothing made him feel safer and more at ease with the world, than having one of his children under his roof once again."  (from The Arrivals by Meg Mitchell Moore)

I've been feeling a bit glum this week.  At first I chalked it up to the February blues, but honestly, I don't really mind winter all that much, except for the shoveling, which hasn't been too bad this year.  There's nothing really amiss in my little world:  My semester is off to a good start, the kids are doing well, and Steve is enjoying a much-needed February break.  So why was I feeling a little out of sorts, a little off my game?  Slowly, it dawned on me--I'm in withdrawal.  My youngest was home for the weekend and now she's back at school.  And I miss her.  I miss her car in the driveway, her face at the dinner table, and her body asleep in her bed upstairs.  I miss the way her sweet, funny presence lights up the house.  I also miss the way I feel when she is home.  Meg Mitchell Moore describes it perfectly in the quote above--when one of my kids is home, I feel "happier, safer, and more at ease with the world."  So even though I'm slowly getting used to this new stage in my life, the transition after a visit is rough.  And I suspect it always will be.

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